Don’t f*@k with Chuck.

I've been looking around for the best Chuck Norris jokes, basically for your amusement. So enjoy.

1. If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
2. There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
3. Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.
4. Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.
5. Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay's potato chip.
6. Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.
7. Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
8. Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
9. Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
10. Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
11. Chuck Norris does not wear a condom. Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.
12. Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
13. Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
14. Chuck Norris doesn't breathe, he holds air hostage.
15. Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are known today as Giraffes
16. According to the Bible, God created the universe in six days. Before that, Chuck Norris created God by snapping his fingers.
17. Chuck Norris CAN lick his elbow.
18. Chuck Norris once round-house kicked a salesman. Over the phone.
19. Coroners refer to dead people as "ABC's". Already Been Chucked.
20. Chuck Norris eats beef jerky and craps gunpowder. Then, he uses that gunpowder to make a bullet, which he uses to kill a cow and make more beef jerky. Some people refer to this as the "Circle of Life."

Please comment and let me know which is your favourite, or let me know of another one you like!
There's just something that gets me about a Chuck Norris joke.

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