(513): CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....

(513): Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out

(310): Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.

(910): Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...

(860): i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.

(425): Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.

(978): You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.

(440): I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet

(804): remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.

(310): you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.

(541): I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.

this is all for now. enjoy.

(951): I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.

(585): WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET

(414): You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"

(941): Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to

(209): do you want me to make hamburgers?
(541): i'm vegan
(209): i'll put lettuce on them

(810): kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.

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